Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Compassion: Real Friends

Well, that didn't take long. I got two emails today already from a couple of people who stumbled onto an Amazon Forum Board link titled "STGRB", and they noticed that Rick Carufel is talking in a friendly manner with people who were once his enemy. These two people in question, who emailed me, wanted to know if Rick has jumped to the other side?

Before I get anymore emails from anyone else asking me that question, allow me to answer right here; No, Rick hasn't jumped to the other side.

To be honest, I think it's great if he has made friends with some of his enemies. Isn't that what life is all about? But does it bother me? Absolutely not! You see, I don't make it a habit to try and tell my friends who they can and cannot be friends with. It's not a good habit to get into. Seeing Rick talk respectfully to those who were once his enemy tells me that Rick has the ability for compassion. And it is from that compassion that allows him (all of us, really) to forgive and be forgiven.

Hey, we all make mistakes, it's only human of us to do so. In my past, I have wronged some people, we all have. It's human nature. But humans have the ability to make amends for those wrongs and ask for forgiveness. Without compassion, we cannot ask for forgiveness nor can we be expected to forgive.

I have had plenty of people who started out as my enemy in life only to become a friend later. I have also had friends who became an enemy. We all have. And it is within that compassion that humans are separated by the animals.

When I saw the same thing in that Amazon thread, I was instantly happy for Rick, and so damn proud too. It shows me that Rick has compassion. That's one of the highest qualities you can have in a friend. But here's the thing; it's also none of my business who rick is friends with. If Rick has the compassion within to mend fences, then I hope he mends them all. I really do.

A few months after I started this blog I had a few enemies (or bullies) who emailed me and apologized for their actions against me. When they asked me to forgive them, I did so. When they backed that apology up with actions and un-did their actions against me, I forgave them. I have never refused an honest and sincere apology in my life.

And again, it is that compassion we carry that allows us as people to make friends out of our enemies, and that's a good thing! Right? In fact, I think that if Rick can make friends out of some of his enemies, then that is something we all can take a lesson from. It sets a great example.

Hate is a disease. No doubt about it. Once you let it inside your heart, it is hard as hell to get rid of it. I have been there before. I know first hand how great it feels to hate something, or someone. It starts with a good reason but eventually, you find more and more things and people to hate and more and more reasons to hate them. Before you know it, you start looking for reasons to hate rather than looking for reasons to love or forgive. You start out one day hating one person and by the end of a year, you hate a hundred people. Years later, it turns into a thousand people until pretty much, you hate everyone. You lose that ability to show compassion. You have become an animal.

Trust me, I know how that story goes. It never does end well either. 

Take Athena Parker, and some of the members of the WIN group for example. When I made that mistake regarding Mr. Lucy Flood, didn't I own it? Didn't I apologize for it? And I did so publicly. But that wasn't good enough for Athena and the gang. They didn't accept that apology. They lacked compassion and in return, did to me what they did to Rick. They turned on me. 

Then Athena began to lie about me. Sent private emails I sent her to other people to get them to turn on me too. She even sent it to Rick to get him and me to fight. Athena and WIN began acting like the bullies they claim to stand against. And just like those bullies, they demonstrated a lack of compassion. An inability to forgive. And just like with the bullies, I had to turn to this blog to defend myself from her lies. 

Athena, and some of the WIN members, they show a lack of compassion. This is why a few of them are no longer my friend. This is why I left the group. I wasn't seeing a lot of compassion from them, only a lot of hate. That and because I left before they could boot me out.

But that's the thing: They didn't show Rick any compassion either. Don't think that little tidbit didn't sneak by me because it didn't. It always concerns me when a friend of mine shows a lack of compassion. I knew when they turned on Rick that anyone could be next. Even me. Especially me! Because I was one of a handful who stood by Rick during that time. And maybe it was because I continued to publicly support him as my friend that those people turned on me to. And maybe that's why they used the Lucy Flood post as "their reason".

The fact that Athena claims there was a group who was planning to file a class-action against Goodreads on behalf of bullied authors, but left myself and Rick out of the loop shows how little compassion they really have. And that in turn makes them no better than the bullies themselves. In fact, it makes them worse. 

But like Rick, I am proud that I too carry compassion. If one of my enemies reached out to me and asked for forgiveness, and supported that attempt with action, then I would have no problem at all accepting that apology and forgiving them. 

But it's hard for some people to do that. I doubt that Athena, like many of the bullies, would or could ever do that because people like Athena, they think they are always right about everything. That they don't have anything to apologize for. People like Athena allow hate inside and when you do that, forgiving others is not an option. Take her recent actions as a good example.

Athena has blocked so many ISP's and proxies to ensure that I nor Rick can read her blog. Think about that for a minute. How much hate do you have to have in your heart to block thousands, if not millions of potential readers just to ensure that two people you hate cannot see what you post about them on your website? 

That's a lot of hate!

But that's exactly what she has done. And why did she do this? To ensure that Rick could not see her call him a "coke monkey" or that I could not see her posting lies about me that I would probably debunk in a defense post right here on The Glass.

The hate she has displayed against the bullies, she may have had reasons for, but now that hate has manifested itself into a bigger load. So much so, that now she has turned into what she most despises; a bully. A hateful little bully. And that's a shame. 

But back to Rick, I am glad to see that he has that ability to forgive. That compassion. It reaffirms my faith and trust in him as both, a friend and a human being. 

Now I know some of the bullies are going to probably attack this post and start saying, "Hey Carroll, you wronged me, so when can I expect your apology?"

Well, good question. Allow me to counter in advance; "When did I ever attack you?" 

You see, I have never attacked anyone, and no evidence has ever been presented to show that I did. I have only defended what others have said about me. I tried at one point to help others too, and showed what some of the bullies did to them. That backfired in my face with the Mr. Lucy Flood post. 

And just like there is no evidence to show I ever attacked anyone first, neither have I ever seen Rick Carufel attack someone for no good reason. I only saw him defend himself, and sometimes others, too. 

I never attacked Jude, she attacked me and sent her friends to do her dirty work and yet, I have friends who are still friends with her. Go figure. I never attacked Amanda Welling or her husband, they attacked me first. They wrote about me first. They emailed me first. Same for Gen Xavier and her friends. (Jude's friends). So I can't possibly go to them and ask for forgiveness now can I? They were the ones who attacked me first so they would have to be the one's to reach out to me and ask for forgiveness. And if they did, and if they proved themselves sincere with it, I would forgive them. The same for John Green. The same for all of them. 

Even in religion, God had said that even he (or she) cannot forgive those who do not ask for it. And I live the same way. I can't forgive (nor won't forgive) anyone who doesn't ask me for it just as I would not expect anyone to forgive me if I do not ask them for it. Then again, I don't really believe in the same God that many religious people worship. My God is the universe, but at least I still carry the same ability that many of them do and that ability is compassion. 

And let's face it, this blog would not exist if the bullies would have just left well enough alone. 

So, Rick Carufel appears to be making friends out of enemies. That is a good thing. Am I worried he has "slipped" over to the other side? No. Because that isn't what I take from it. I take it as it appears to be, that Rick has the ability to make friends out of enemies. That is something we all could follow his lead on. Rick doesn't hang onto hate or hold grudges. That assures me that if I ever make a mistake and piss him off, all I have to do is apologize and ask for forgiveness and know that he will probably accept and give it to me. That assures me our friendship is real. 

Real friends don't ask each other to hate people. Real friends don't tell each other who they can and cannot be friends with. Real friends don't tell you what you can or cannot post on your blog. Real friends will show compassion and forgiveness towards each other. Real friends won't send private emails to other people in an attempt to get others to hate you when you have disputes with one another. Real friends take a few days if needed to "cool down" when you do have disputes, but in the end, real friends will respect that friendship. I respect Rick's friendship. I know he respects my friendship too. And if Rick has indeed made a few friends from his enemies, then that is a lesson we can all learn from. Hopefully, Athena Parker and others will learn from that as well. I know Rick enough to know that he, like myself, will be friends with anyone who is willing to be his friend. Now, how can that ever be a bad thing? 

So, no more emails please regarding Rick and his friends. It's none of my business who he is friends with as it is none of yours either. Just be glad that there are some people out there who have the ability to forgive. Who have the ability of compassion. Without it, you lose your humanity.



I'm Carroll Bryant ... and this The Looking Glass. 
 

UPDATE:

It appears the kettle is calling the pot black. STGRB is posting about (if not gloating over) the fact that the bullies have dedicated a thread on Amazon about them. 





Yes, STGRB is "obsessing" over the bullies "obsessing" over them. They are monitoring the bullies 24/7 like the bullies are monitoring them. They are basically flattering each other. Hell, aren't we all just "obsessing" over one another? Flattering one another? 

The bullies are plotting, calculating, and formulating plans within plans about how they are going to bring about the demise of STGRB just as STGRB (and WIN) are plotting, calculating, and formulating plans within plans to bring about the demise of the bullies. It's a constant battle. And yet, STGRB fails to see that they have become bullies too. The difference, of course, is that STGRB blocks people from reading the lies they say about others. Maybe it's because they fear of real evidence proving them wrong and proving their lies. 

STGRB has become a shell of their former selves. But the truth remains, that Google has taken STGRB off their "search engines" for a reason. That reason was probably because STGRB has crossed some lines. They have now turned into the stalker - trolls. Once upon a time, they accused Rick Carufel of turning into a stalker troll. Keep up with the hate, STGRB, the world is watching. Well, except for the world that uses Google search engine, and the millions you have blocked just to make some useless point. People are beginning to forget you, STGRB. That can't be such a good feeling. It also can't be good for your cause. Whatever that might be now-a-days - which from where I am standing, appears to be hate for the pleasure of hate. You went from fighting bullies, to hating a lot of people who aren't even bullies, to bullying others yourselves. Believe it or not, more and more people are now actually starting to support the bullies. I would think being "banned" by Google would be your first clue. I thought wrong. What are you going to do when other search engines start following the same game plan? 

I said it before and I will say it again, "You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain." (Okay, I didn't say it, Batman did, but still, it rings true.)  

3 comments:

  1. Great post Carroll, I'm flattered you think so highly of me. Thanks.

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    1. This doesn't mean that we're going to take long showers together in the wee hours of the morning. LOL (Quoting Clint Eastwood from the film, "Heartbreak Ridge".)

      Seriously though, I was surprised that I got two emails asking me that question. Now if anyone asks me again, I can just send them a link to this post and say, "Read this."

      You're a good man, Rick. Sure, you make your share of mistakes, we all do. But in the end, you're not out trying to hurt others. If anything, I have seen you try to help others. I can't judge a person based on their mistakes, only their intentions. Your intentions are good.

      I just wanted everyone to know exactly where I stand on the issue.

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    2. I appreciate your support and friendship. Thanks again.

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