Monday, January 6, 2014

The Looking Glass: Carroll Bryant's Story

When I was attacked that fateful day in July of 2012, my mind was caught in whirlwind. Confusion was an understatement. It was a low point of my life. I couldn't understand how so many people could have so much hate in their hearts, and stupidity. It reminded me of the old west, when mobs of angry people would gather in town ready for a lynching.

It didn't matter if the person they were lynching was guilty or innocent, only that somebody paid for a crime that was never even committed.

Yes, that was the day I discovered how horrible people can be. And how arrogant. 

A relationship with a girl who suffers from a lack of mental stability took her hurtful feelings towards me, and had thrust them upon so many of her friends, worked them into a psychopathic frenzy to the point where I was viciously attacked online on a website known as Goodreads dot com. The last place in the world one would think such evil people would reside. 

People who don't even know me came out from under their rocks to call me such vile names and accuse me of such horrific crimes, one would have thought I was the anti-Christ. That was a day where Adolf Hitler himself could have been nominated Humanitarian Of The Year. 

It took a while for me to figure out what had happened that day, meanwhile, I found a friend in the form of a website called STGRB. 

Through them, I would learn who this angry mob was, and why they did what they did. As it turns out, it wasn't an isolated incident, as I initially believed that it was. 

Through them, I learned that it wasn't just a case of an unstable girl exacting vengeance upon me for simply blocking her from emailing me, oh no, it went deeper than that. It was the act of a girl who is friends online with so many severely disturbed individuals who I have now come to understand, have no life outside of the internet. 

Through STGRB, I would learn that these people, the ones who attacked me, were an organized group of people who have anointed themselves "author behavior police" and had a history of attacking unsuspecting authors like myself. I had no idea that this girl, whom I once cared so much about, was a part of this hostile gang of internet bullies. 

It's no secret now who this girl is. Jude Henderson. (Real name: Elsa Judith Sanchez Hernandez) And it's no secret now how she stalked me for months after I blocked her from emailing me. How she manipulated my friend, and then blog partner, to sneak onto our shared blog as an administrator under the guise of helping my friend with her blog design just so she (Jude) could demonstrate to me that she could still get to me anytime she wanted. 

Through STGRB, I would learn that I was not the only one who suffered through one of these organized attacks. And thanks to STGRB, I no longer felt alone. 

Since then, I would slowly - but surely - learn more about these people who attacked me, and their agenda. The attack was just the tip of an otherwise hateful iceberg. For the six months that followed, these vile and hateful people would write untold blog posts about me filled with inaccuracies and plain outright lies. These people who attacked me came off as if they somehow knew me when in fact, they don't, and never did, and still don't to this day.

These bullies would say things without ever showing one shred of proof to support their claims. I have documented this very well right here on this blog. A blog that I was inspired, if not pushed, to create. I created it when I realized I was being stalked and harassed for the last six months of 2012 by a woman and her husband, Amanda and Jon Welling. That situation is well documented here on this blog also. 

I was also stalked, and harassed by another unknown individual during that time as well. This person would coward under the name of General Xavier. This GenX would create a hate blog in January of 2013 for the sole purpose of stalking, harassing, and attacking myself, and STGRB. 

In response to this, I then created The Looking Glass Of Carroll Bryant. 

My initial purpose for this blog was to use it as my place to address, and defend the libelous claims of these vile people who had taken it upon themselves to say things that were untrue. In response to my defense blog, the bullies then honored me with two hate blogs with my name. Showing more their evil attitudes and heart filled hate. 

I think ultimately, it was the strength and hope that STGRB gave to me that allowed me to stand up for myself against these cyber bullies. That and the way I was raised, which was to stand and fight back. But I was lucky in so that I didn't have to worry about my book sales because my financial situation was already such that I didn't have to worry about that. Not many authors are so lucky. This would explain why so many of them were afraid to defend themselves and fight back against these monsters. 

At first, I felt sorry for them. So eventually, I turned The Looking Glass into another direction, to also try and fight for them too. I didn't want them to feel like I felt that day I was attacked. I was using STGRB as a blue print of sorts, to help me better help those like me. I thought together, we could make a positive change on Goodreads and perhaps other places online for authors by addressing these problems. One of those other places was Amazon Forum Boards. But I then quickly began to notice that Goodreads and Amazon, in general, don't give a shit about the horrible people on their sites. In fact, I quickly discovered that they condoned and perhaps encouraged these hate filled people to thrive on their sites. But as long as STGRB felt there was hope, so I did fill myself with the same kind of hope that positive change for authors could prevail. 

I was led to believe that together, and with the help of other brave authors out there, we could rid the book world of these bullies, these monstrosities of human nature. 

Part of what these evil people do is rate books one star that they never even read. Attack authors they deem "badly behaving" through book reviews. Their goal is to publicly demean, belittle, humiliate and otherwise attack authors relentlessly using this book review option, and sites like Amazon and Goodreads allowed it to happen. They also create these vile book shelves to further accomplish their evil agenda. 

And while this tactic worked for the most part, many authors buckled under fear of being the next target of these creatures. 

Perhaps in the beginning, these people, these bullies, may have thought they had good reason to do what they were doing. It is their belief that authors are to be read and not heard. They don't care for authors who interacted with their readers, and fans. Especially if an author disagreed with those readers or fans about something in their own book. It is because of this that these people decided to "put authors" in their place, and so, this new form of online bullying was started. And who knows, maybe these bullies had some kind of meaningful message in the beginning. But like everything else, that message got lost and it quickly turned into nothing more than stalking authors, harassing them, and a quest to kill careers for them. 

It turned into bullying. 

Most in part because in the beginning, the bullies thought that authors were trying to intimidate them into rating books they read higher than what the reader wanted to rate them. Maybe in the beginning this was true, but it has now turned into a situation where these bullies are now rating and reviewing books they don't even read to try and get their point across. (That authors whine too much about ratings and reviews by readers)

But here's the thing, you can't make your point by lying. You can't claim that authors whine too much about one star ratings and bad reviews if the ratings and reviews you are giving is false. In all honesty, by giving fake ratings (or carpet bombing) to books you never read, and or reviewing books you never read, you actually give the author whines credibility. But the bullies do not see this. Perhaps they have become what they first despised? 

But now, authors who are aware of these bullies are scared to death to encounter them. They're afraid of participating with their readers and fans because of this. Because now, the bullies no longer wait for to fight for their cause, but rather, now they go out in search of authors to make an example of. Now all an author has to do is ask the wrong question and they will get attacked. Now, the bullies go out and carpet bomb books they never read in hopes that some new and unsuspecting author will somehow respond so that the bullies can jump on that as a reason for their bullying towards that author. Their message, or initial purpose has gotten lost to the point now where what they do is actually bullying. 

Thanks to STGRB, I was able to gain some courage to try and help address this problem. My hope was that I would inspire others to do the same. At first, around mid 2013, it appeared as if that was the case. Some authors did start to take a more public stance against these bullies. But just it appeared this was the case, and Goodreads started to come around to finally address the problem and finally start enforcing their ToS, I started to realize that some authors, even after being targeted and attacked, didn't want to fight back. 

More and more, I had worked on stories that would have shown even more so how vile and vicious these bullies were only to have those stories be requested not to be posted. Requests for evidence not to be shown. This started making me scratch my head. Why wouldn't someone want me to post evidence that would help the cause of fighting back against bullying?  

I suppose this constant fear by many authors of going public with their stories has finally taken its toll on me. This coming after a period where authors started turning against each other because of it. It would seem that there are still many authors out there who are afraid of these bullies, never realizing that only by standing up to them will you ever have a chance to silence them. Because they will never stop otherwise. 

I think a lot of progress has been made in the struggle against these bullies, but I wasn't looking for progress, I was looking for victory. A victory that will never be due to the fact that there are still so many authors out there who are afraid to stand up to these evil people. 

My sympathy has run dry. 

All my life I was the one in school who defended the weak against the bullies. I was the one who always seemed to put the school bullies in their place. The teachers at that time sure as hell wasn't doing anything, so I did. Maybe that's why I decided to start using the Looking Glass to help those weaker authors. Those authors who are most afraid. But those authors, it would seem now, don't want my help. They appear more than satisfied to continue living their life afraid of the bullies. 

So be it. 

Maybe they are afraid that their career will be ruined if they stand up against these bullies. What they don't realize is that their careers are already ruined once they get targeted and attack by the bullies. Not because the bullies themselves ruin their careers, but the lack of courage by the attacked author costs them their careers. I know this for a fact. I know this because I was attacked. I stood up to them. I fought back. They said my career was ruined. They were wrong. I just got rewarded recently for my courage. I got approached to write someone's biography. I was approached because of my courage against the bullies. Karma has won. The universe rewarded me. My salary for writing this biography will equal the same amount of money as if I would have sold 20,000 books. And let's face it, even if the bullies never would have targeted me and attacked me, I doubt very seriously if I would have sold 20,000 books. (E-Books, that is) But because I did stand up to the bullies, I got popular. That popularity earned me this biography project. This biography project will get me new publicity through newspapers, television and radio exposure. On top of this, I will still collect royalties from the book when it is released. Not just through E-Books either, but paperback. 

I was still willing to continue to help spread the word about the bullies here on The Looking Glass. I was still intent on helping other authors, but now it appears that these authors would rather prefer to hide in the shadows. It now appears that these authors, victims of the bullies, would rather let the bullies win. 

So be it. 

I have now decided to only fight for the strong, and the brave. For myself. Not to keep fighting the bullies themselves, but to set the record straight when they lie about me, and about other authors who are willing to stand up against these people. I have no more sympathy for those authors out there who get attacked, and choose to hide behind their fear. Who choose to feel self pity for their plight. If you are not willing to stand up for yourself, then don't come crawling to me for help. And don't expect me to just jump in and help. I only help those who wish to help themselves now. And if that means no more posts on The Looking Glass, then so be it. 

I already won. I already beat the bullies. I took their negativity, and after three and a half years of fighting back, turned it into a positive as the universe has already awarded me for my efforts. Why should I care anymore? I now realize that ultimate victory against these bullies is success. But success will not just happen along to your front door, you have to earn it. You have to be deserving of it. You're not deserving if you're not willing to stand up for what is right and true. You're not deserving of success if you're not willing to stand up for yourself and fight for it. This is what I have now learned. 

So, to all you authors out there, and other non-authors who are too scared of defending your own honor against these vile bullies, I leave you in peace. Good luck with that. I wish you the best. No need to wish me luck, I make my own. Homey got paid. You didn't. And you won't. So suck on that. Maybe next time when life gives you the chance to do the right thing, you will do it. Then again, maybe you won't. I don't know. And I don't care anymore. I am through fighting for those who are too damn scared to fight for themselves. From now on, I only fight for myself. A winner who knows how to win. And for others who want to win too. No more Iraq wars for me. I am now a mercenary for the strong. 

Success is the only way to ultimately beat the bullies, but success will not just jump into your pocket, you have to get up off your ass and earn success. I hope you learn this lesson. I hope you learn it for the sake of your dreams. To give in to the bullies is to give in to your dreams. And for that I say, shame on you. Shame on you all. Your dreams deserve better than that. Your dreams deserve better than you if all you are going to do is lay down and let the bullies use you like some cheap two dollar whore. In fact, if you don't stand up for yourself, then you don't deserve your dreams to come true. 

Dreams are meant to be fought for. You have to be willing to sacrifice for them to come true. If you're not willing to do that, then you don't deserve to have any dreams. And I'm no longer going to keep fighting for your dreams if you're sure as hell not going to join in with the effort. Your dreams are not my responsibility, they're yours. Why do you think the bullies don't have any dreams? Because they are not willing to fight for them. They are not willing to earn it. So they instead decide to destory other people's dreams because it's a lot easier for them to do. That has become the dreams of the bullies, to destroy other people's dreams. And now I can see why they do it, because so many of those who have dreams are not willing to fight for them just like the bullies. You all deserve each other, the bullies who dream of destroying other people's dreams, and those people who are unwilling to stand up and fight for their dreams against the bullies. A match surely made in heaven. I'm now turning my energy and efforts to those who are strong enough, brave enough, to stand up and fight for their dreams. 

So the future of The Glass is this: I will continue to fight for my dreams. I will continue to defend myself here. I will continue to fight for those who want me to fight for them, but you'll have to contact me for me to do so and you'll have to be willing to lay it on the line. Outside of that, there will be no more posts here on The Glass. As I mentioned earlier, I got mine. If you want yours, let me know, otherwise, here's a blanket for that dark corner you're hiding in. When you're ready to stand up and succeed, I'll be right here. I'll be waiting in that greener grass, in the yard next door, swimming in my success, that could be yours too with just a little bit of courage, and willingness to stand up for yourself. 

I'm Carroll Bryant .... and success never tasted so good. 

Things We Learned Today:

* There's too many "willing" victims, and not enough "brave" hero's

* Rewards are earned - not given

* Success will ultimately defeat the bullies

* Success eludes cowards

* Carroll is not a coward

* Carroll wins!

Side Note: I have pulled myself from ALL groups who are fighting for those authors, against the bullies, who refuse to fight for themselves. Please do not take it personally if I left your group. I just simply refuse to help those who will not help themselves. The pity party is over for me. I have no pity anymore for those authors who refuse to stand and fight. Cry yourself a river. Batman is on vacation. Gotham will just have to make do without him. Just know that we had the bullies on the ropes. We were winning. Now the bullies will start to thrive again, I am sure. When they do, blame yourselves. 

"It's not the bad people who win, but the good people who refuse to stand up to them that will lose."

You can quote me on that.

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