Saturday, May 25, 2013

Issues And Tissues: Carroll Bryant Interviews The Bullies

Have you ever wondered what an interview with a bully would be like? I know I have wondered about it a time or two. In fact, if any bullies out there wish to be interviewed by me, let me know. I'll be more than happy to give you your fifteen minutes of fame and we could get right to the heart of the matter where your whines about me are concerned.

Until then, I guess this mock interview will just have to suffice. I call it, "Issues And Tissues". I'll ask the tough questions about all of their whines regarding me and see if we can't mockingly get to the bottom of their tears, fears and insanity. This includes why they stalk me so much. Their answers just might surprise you. So let's get this started, shall we?



Carroll: Thanks for joining me today on my blog to answer some questions. I really appreciate it.

The Bullies: F@#% you Carroll! You big meanie.

Carroll: Right. Anyhow, let me begin with; What is your problem with me?

The Bullies: You posted a picture of a model and claimed that it was you. It's not cool to mislead people like that.

Carroll: Yes, I know. I already explained it. I owned it, explained it that it started out as a joke and got out of control. I apologized for it and tried to move on and get past it. For the most part, everybody has - except for you bullies. Why is that?

The Bullies: Because we're bullies. We aren't allowed to get past it. We wouldn't be bullies if we did let it go. You misled us. You're an asshole. We also don't accept your explanation. We hate you. We don't forgive you. Bullies do not forgive people they hate. We don't accept apologies.

Carroll: Yes, but 95 percent of you didn't even know me when I was on Goodreads. I can't see how my joke would even concern you in the first place. It's kind of like, if somebody I didn't know used a fake picture as a joke or otherwise, then why would I even give a shit? It doesn't have anything to do with me. I didn't know the person so technically, that person didn't try to deceive me, right?

The Bullies: You just don't understand the bully code. You misled our friend Jude. That's all that matters. Bullies stick together.

Carroll: I understand that, and I can almost respect that, however, your friend Jude lies about her real name. What is the difference between her misleading people with her name and I posting a picture as a joke?

The Bullies: She's one of us. She's a bully. She's allowed to fool people. Stop it Carroll! Stop trying to confuse us with your big fancy learning words and ... and ... umm ... stuff. Besides, you did it too. Carroll Bryant isn't your real name. You're lying about that too.

Carroll: Yes, but Carroll Bryant is a pen name. I'm an author. Many authors use pen names. Why aren't you bullying them about it also? Why just isolate me? And by the way, Jude isn't an author. So why is she using a fake name? Elsa is a good name. A proud name. ... *blank stare* ... Well, it is a name. It's her name. She should be proud of it.

The Bullies: I don't like your line of questioning.

Carroll: Would it matter if I told you that I legally changed my name to Carroll Bryant?

The Bullies: No.

Carroll: Fair enough then.

The Bullies: F@#% you Carroll! You used that fake picture of that model to try and meet underage girls.

Carroll: Really? And you have proof of this to support that claim?

The Bullies: No. We don't need proof. Our word should be proof enough. That's the only proof we need.

Carroll: Yes, I know. The whole world knows. Okay so, what is this unhealthy obsession you bullies have with my age?

The Bullies: What do you mean unhealthy obsession? There's nothing unhealthy or obsessive about wanting to know somebody's age. What are you hiding Carroll? Why don't you just tell us your real age?

Carroll: I'm not hiding anything. I guess I'm just trying to figure out why it's so important to you bullies to know how old I am. The only reason I dance around it is because it drives you bullies crazy. It's very entertaining to watch you bullies go nuts over my age.

The Bullies: F@#% you Carroll. You used that picture to lure Jude and other underage girls into your creepy web of lies.

Carroll: I see. Still on that picture. Well, first of all, I didn't. She talked to me first. She messaged me first on Goodreads. She emailed me first. She was the one with the crush. I tried to just keep it friendly. Your friend Jude has a habit of going after guys that are out of her league. Not to mention that most guys want a girl with a good personality. She doesn't have that. She is a bully. That tends to turn most guys off. And a girl like Jude with her ... shall we say ... physical description could benefit more with a nicer personality.

The Bullies: That's real mature Carroll, calling a girl fat. You're the one who is fat.

Carroll: I didn't call her fat. Not that it would be a lie if I did. I have no problem with full figured gals. And for what it's worth, I'm not exactly fat. I'm not even considered chubby. If you have evidence that shows otherwise then I would love to see it.

The Bullies: We already told you we don't need proof. Our saying it is proof enough. You're 55 years old Carroll!

Carroll: No I'm not.

The Bullies: How old are you then? Tell us!

Carroll: What would you say if I told you I was 39 years old?

The Bullies: You're lying. That's what I would say. F@#% you Carroll! If you're not fat then why not show us a picture to prove it? Or a video? What are you hiding?

Carroll: I will show you a picture or video if Jude does too. She doesn't show her full body either. What is she hiding?

The Bullies: *blank stare* We hate you Carroll. You're 60 years old!

Carroll: I see that some of you bullies have a problem with my blog. Tell the world again of your whines about my blog.

The Bullies: You just copy from Wikipedia. What the hell? Can't you write original posts?

Carroll: First of all, not everything I post is taken from Wikipedia. But yes, I do use Wikipedia a lot because when you need accurate information about famous people, Wikipedia is the place to go. They are, after all, the number one online encyclopedia. And FYI, I have corresponded in the past with the lawyer(s) from Wikipedia and have their permission to do so. I share their information through the "Creative Commons" law that governs the internet. I am not doing anything illegal or wrong. And it is my blog. People are allowed to blog anyway they see fit just as long as it doesn't break any copyright laws and I am not breaking any copyright laws. Besides, I get a lot of views and isn't that the goal of a blog? To get views? You know what I think? I think you bullies are just mad that you didn't think about it first. I get more views on my blog than 95 percent of you bullies. For example; Jude's blog has been around a whole year longer than mine and she is coming up on 250,000 page views. I am approaching 500,000 page views. That's a half million for you bullies who don't fair well in mathmatics.

The Bullies: F@#% you Carroll! You posted a fake picture of yourself!

Carroll: *blank stare* So tell me, how do you bullies expect people to believe anything you say when you guys post fake ratings and reviews of books on Goodreads? You do realize that when you do this, you're just telling the world that you're liars, bullies and haters, right?

The Bullies: We're allowed to rate and review books as we like. There's no law against it.

Carroll: But it is morally wrong. And deceptive. You're still lying.

The Bullies: No we're not. You don't know what you're saying. You don't know the definition of lying. Why don't you learn the definition of lying first before you accuse us of lying you liar.

Carroll: *Blank stare*

The Bullies: F@#% you Carroll! You have sex with trees while swinging from vines and eating a ham sandwich you fat ugly idiot!

Carroll: So how can you accuse me of doc dropping and yet never supply any evidence to it when I have provided clear cut evidence that Amanda Welling did this on her blog GenXpose?

The Bullies: I told you already, our word should be proof enough for everyone to believe us. And you do doc drop Carroll. Amanda Welling isn't GenX. That is just something you pulled out of your magic hat.

Carroll: But I have screenshots of Amanda confessing to be ....

The Bullies: F@#% you Carroll! You posted a fake pic!

Carroll: *Blank stare*

The Bullies: We hate you.

Carroll: What do you say about fellow bully Mrs. Joseph wishing me dead, Pulp-Fiction style? Is this normal behavior for you bullies? To go around and wishing people dead? Sounds a little mean and extreme to me.

The Bullies: There's nothing illegal about wishing people dead. It's not even morally wrong. And what do you mean that it's mean? It's not mean. You need to look up the meaning of the word mean before you start calling people mean, Carroll. That's your problem right there. You don't know the meaning of words when you use them. And anyway, where is your proof that she even said that? And don't say you posted a screenshot of it on your blog because screenshots aren't proof.

Carroll: *Blank stare*

The Bullies: F@#% you Carroll! You're 80 years old!

Carroll: Let me ask you this then, when I broke the story about sexual role-playing going on on the Goodreads website, and provided screenshots of profiles of participants that clearly shows one adult and one minor role-playing sexually with each other, and I provided screenshots of the role-play these two were engaged in that clearly showed they were role-playing sexually with each other, why did you bullies come out and say that I didn't have proof? Most notably, Amanda Welling on her GenXpose blog. Why did you think that my screenshots weren't proof?

The Bullies: Because screenshots aren't proof, Carroll. They are only proof if we use them, not when you or STGRB uses them. And you didn't prove that sexual role-playing was going on either.

Carroll: Well then, if it wasn't going on then why did Patrick Brown rush so fast to delete topics and role-play groups? I mean, if there was no merit behind my story then he wouldn't have raced so fast to do that and start changing policy now, would he?

The Bullies: You don't know what you're talking about Carroll. Patrick was already going to do that. That was preplanned.

Carroll: Well, if he was already going to do that then wouldn't that still indicate that he knew there was a problem and rushed to fix it?

The Bullies: Yes. But it wasn't because of sexual role-playing between adults and minors. It was because he discovered there was sexual role-playing going between adults and minors.

Carroll: Wait. What?

The Bullies: *Blank stare* F@#% you Carroll! You chase after underage girls online!

Carroll: *Blank stare*

The Bullies: F@#% you Carroll! Just F@#% you!

Carroll: I know. You hate me.

The Bullies: *Blank stare* F@#% you Carroll! You're involved with STGRB! And it took you four months to investigate those sexual role-plays? Were you getting your cheap thrills?

Carroll: I wasn't online every single day of those four months going to those groups. Plus, it took a while to capture all of the screenshots I took and sort through them. Some groups were private and I had to wait to be accepted when I requested membership. If I would have just gone in real quick and back out then reported it, nothing would have happened. Those role-plays had been reported before to the GR staff and those complaints were ignored. Then all of you would be crying about how irresponsible I was by not doing a more thorough job. I just can't win with you bullies. No matter which way I go, all of you would be whining about it. Here is a sample screenshot of an anonymous (typical) bully crying about it on Amazon.

The Bullies: Shut up.

Carroll: Here's another screenshot of a classic example of how you bullies fabricate things. It is of some anon (surprise, surprise) talking about the fact that I interacted with these RP'ers during my investigation, without proof to support the claim, which I have already stated plenty of times that I didn't. I only went in and took screenshots. That's it. But does that matter to you bullies? Absolutely not. You just open up your mouth and out comes the sewage. Take a look.

The Bullies: We said, shut up!

Carroll: And here is another shot of the first moron bully "G" talking about how long it took for me to report it to authorities. First of all, this idiot doesn't know a damn thing about what I did or didn't do or when I did it. This jerk doesn't know a damn thing about me or the situation yet, like a true bully, they run their mouth like they know it all. Recently, a young lady killed herself in California after having been raped months earlier and the suspects posted pictures on the internet. It took the authorities eight months to conclude their investigation and make an arrest. And it took this long with all the evidence posted on the web! Now compare that to just sexual role-plays taking place on Goodreads. For all we know, they could be investigating it right now. You bullies seem to think that everything happens in a freaking day or something. The truth is, you all got your heads stuck up in your asses, and none of you know what hell you are talking about. Take a look.

 The Bullies: F@#% you Carroll! You're the one with your head up your ass!

Carroll: Now, when Amanda Welling doc dropped on Athena and Melissa on her GenXpose blog, she provided evidence that clearly showed those two ladies lived on the same street but had two different addresses and phone numbers yet, Amanda claims that Athena and Melissa are the same person. Her own evidence shows they are two different people. Can you explain that for me?

The Bullies: *Blank stare*

Carroll: Well? Can you explain that?

*** Crickets ***

Carroll: Well?

The Bullies: We hate you carroll.

Carroll: On a more personal level, what kind of gratification do you get in bullying authors on Goodreads and the Amazon Forum Boards? Is it a sexual gratification or some other kind that I am unaware of?

The Bullies: Actually, that is the most sane question you have asked today. The gratification that we get is that of supreme power. You see Carroll, for us bullies, we pretty much live useless and worthless lives. Like you and other authors, we are sick and tired of watching you guys accomplish your goals and dreams. It gives us great pleasure to be able, for once in our pathetic lives, to have some kind of power, and we get that power over the internet by bullying people and destroying their dreams  anonymously and with many different sock puppets. It's really all we got to get us through our day. You see, many of us are out of work and we're frustrated by that. Others couldn't get laid if we were in a Bangkok whorehouse with a suitcase of American currency. While some of us just have really bad marriages and or live in our parents basement. More importantly, we're just angry and hateful people who feel entitled to monitor the behavior of authors. We feel that it's our duty to keep all of your big egos in check. If we don't do it, then who will?

Carroll: Yes, I get all of that but, who appointed you people to be the judges, jury and executioners of other people, be it authors or anyone?

The Bullies: *Blank stare* We did, Carroll. We did. We appointed ourselves. *Sigh*

Carroll: *Blank stare*

The Bullies: F@#% you Carroll! You're a big poopy head!

Carroll: What is your response to fellow bully, Zoe, claiming that I said I wanted to rape Jude in a quote when ............

The Bullies: You did say that.

Carroll: Can I finish the question?

The Bullies: Sure.

Carroll: Thank you. .... when in fact it was a quote from a character in one of my books who used it metaphorically then later, she posted her mistake in misunderstanding the quote and yet she failed to offer up an apology to me once she realized she was wrong.

The Bullies: We thought we explained this earlier. We're bullies Carroll! Hello! Our word is golden. Our word is the gospel truth. We don't have to apologize to anyone for anything we do or say because we are never wrong. She was correct when she said that you said you wanted to rape Jude, and she was correct when she said she misread and misunderstood the quote and who said it. But here is the thing, Carroll, and you're missing the whole point of her statement, that ultimately, you wrote the book thus, you wrote the quote, thus, you said you wanted to rape Jude. Duh!

Carroll: *Blank stare*

The Bullies: F@#% you Carroll! You copy Wikipedia on your blog!

Carroll: How long do you expect to keep up with your internet bullying?

The Bullies: Forever Carroll. That's the best part of being a cyber bully. We recruit new bullies everyday. Young people who are unsuspecting to our deviant ways. We brainwash them early into thinking that they are always right and non-bullies are always wrong. We use the same techniques that Hitler used and the terrorists use. These young people of today are so clueless, they wouldn't know the truth if you hit them upside the head with a truth book. Many of these young people today are lost and confused and we offer them friendship and protection if they join with us. The trick is, finding those people who live on the internet like all of us bullies do and don't have a life. Or at least, a life worth living. So we give them that. We are on every social website known to man. It never gets boring when you go from site to site bullying people. We teach them how to create several sock puppets too, to demonstrate our power in numbers. The kids have a lot of fun with that. It expands their creative thinking and challenges them to bully under many different scenarios. Of course, and I don't have to tell you this, you can't be a good bully until you learn how to lie out of your ass. It's really the last great art of our times, lying. You have no idea how difficult it is to come up with newer and more unbelievable lies that people will fall for.

Carroll: That ... that's not right.

The Bullies: F@#% you Carroll! You posted a fake pic of yourself!

Carroll: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I copy Wikipedia on my blog.

The Bullies: Damn right you do.

Carroll: Why didn't any of you bullies take me up on my truce offer last December when I offered it?

The Bullies: Because we don't want a truce with you Carroll. It's no fun to hate someone if you change your mind and start liking them. OMG! Why does everything have to be about you? You're such a narcissist. Bullying isn't about you, Carroll, it's about the act of bullying. You're not the only one we bully you know. Jesus! I thought you would have figured that out by now. Christ!

Carroll: Why do you bullies feel the need to display my book sales on Amazon? You do realize that I sell my books on every major E-reader and they also sell on other book sites. About a dozen of them in fact.

The Bullies: I thought you understood the act of bullying. It's not just about our right to rate and review books as we see fit even if we don't read them, it's about destroying people's career's and lives. It's about trying to make other people's life as miserable as ours. It's about power. We don't have this kind of power in our real life. Nobody gives us any respect in our real life so we go onto the internet and exercise our power there. The internet is our real power. That and being able to do our bullying in peace under anonymous names and many different sock puppets.

Carroll: What will happen to the bully profession if eventually, the powers that be eliminate your ability to be able to bully under anonymous names and sock puppets?

The Bullies: Then we're screwed Carroll. We will be screwed. There is no way many of us would even bother to do this if we had to use our real names and couldn't create our sock puppets. Don't even say that. Bite your tongue. But yes, the bully profession would be history. Something like that could very well push us back to the real world and God knows, we can't survive in that world. But they would never do that anyway so it's a moot point.

Carroll: Why you say that?

The Bullies: Because, that would be profiling, and profiling is just wrong.

Carroll: *Blank stare*

The Bullies: F@#% you Carroll! You're 123 years old! You pervert.

Carroll: So what's up with all these hate blogs in my honor?

The Bullies: We'll Carroll, you are our biggest nemesis next to STGRB. Nobody has stood up to us individually like you have. Even we have to admit that you got some big balls and backbone. We hate people like that more. Nobody has proved our lies more than you have with the exception of STGRB, but like our hate blogs, I mean, our "truth" blogs, we are many just like STGRB. Granted, we don't nearly have the following and support that STGRB has, but it takes a lot of us to combat you, Carroll. That is just testimony to how strong you are. You are a tough nut to crack. The truth be told, if we could go back into time and do it all over again, I think we would just pass on attacking you.  But since we already started this war, we feel we have an obligation to try and see it through. Even if we are losing. It's just our "never surrender" mentality. And let's face it, if we can crack you then we can crack anybody. You have become the symbol of success for us. You're like the Batman and we are like the Joker. Without you, we wouldn't exist the way we do now. I think you feel the same way, don't you? We need each other.

Carroll: No. I don't feel the same way. That is just creepy.

The Bullies: Whatever.

Carroll: *Blank stare*

The Bullies: F@#% you Carroll! You suck as a writer! Nobody likes your poems! Nobody likes your songs!

Carroll: Why is it that you bullies claim I stalk Jude and never show any evidence of that and you never want to talk about when she stalked me on my blog by using my best friend to do it and I have proof of that?

The Bullies: Because we don't want people to know that Jude stalked you. Why can't you just get pass Jude? You are so stuck on her man, get over it, and move on with your life.

Carroll: But ... you're all still stuck on me and everything. Why can't you guys just drop it and leave me alone? Why can't you bullies just get a life away from me?

The Bullies: Because Carroll, that's not the way it works. You really do not have any idea about what it takes to be a bully, do you?

Carroll: No, I suppose I don't. But Jude still stalks me even to this day. She is all the time visiting my blogs and leaving "Anon" comments. I also feel that I need to keep reminding everyone that she was the one who sent you bullies to attack me in the first place when she posted some alleged emails I was suppose to have sent her. As long as you bullies keep attacking me, I shall continue to keep posting her name.

The Bullies: Prove it! Where's your evidence?

Carroll: Where is your evidence that I stalk her?

The Bullies: F@#% you Carroll! You make Anon comments on your own blog! Loser!

Carroll: Prove it.

The Bullies: F@#% you Carroll!

Carroll: *Blank stare*

The Bullies: F@#% you! We hate you! (Call me)

 Carroll: Speaking of which, since you brought it up, why do you think I am vain? Just because I talk about my dating life?

The Bullies: You're just bragging, Carroll. You're a narcissist. You think you're God's gift to girls.

Carroll: Yeah, but what if I am?

The Bullies: But you're not.

Carroll: You just asked me to call you.

The Bullies: No we didn't. Prove it. Just because we said it doesn't mean it's proof of anything.

Carroll: *Really blank stare*

The Bullies: OMG! We hate you!

Carroll: Why do you guys keep claiming that I want to be a rock star? And a movie star?

The Bullies: Because, you write songs, sing them, and you go to California to go on auditions.

Carroll: Yeah, I write songs, but I don't sing on them. If you look on my CD cover you would know this. I do not appear on the vocal credits.

The Bullies: Because we say so. If we say it, then it's the truth.

Carroll: Plus I just go on auditions for the fun of it. I really don't care if I get a part or not. Not to mention, I have never said that I wanted to be a movie star or a rock star. In fact, I have said on several occasions that I didn't want to be a rock star, I just like writing songs. I also mentioned once in an interview that I would just like to get some small part on some show just to say I did it once.

The Bullies: *Seething stare*

Carroll: What would you say if I told you that on my last audition I got a call back?

The Bullies: I would say you are a liar. *Five second pause* Did you get the part?

Carroll: No, unfortunately. But it was cool to get a call back though.

The Bullies: Liar! Liar! Pants on fire!

Carroll: Could you tell me which one of you bullies tried to sabotage my interview with the rock band Vasey?

The Bullies: We're not at liberty to say.

Carroll: My guess is Amanda Welling. She seems to practice that kind of thing. She also hates me the most for some reason.

The Bullies: OMG! You always think that Jude is behind everything, don't you?

Carroll: I didn't say Jude. I said Amanda.

The Bullies: *Blank stare* OMG! You think Amanda is always behind everything, don't you?

Carroll: Why do you guys stalk me so much? You always seem to know what I am doing and the only way to know this is to stalk my blog. Not that I mind, just curious.

The Bullies: We don't stalk you. We don't know what you are talking about. We don't stalk STGRB either. **Five second pause** F@#% you Carroll! You have sex with STD carrying monkeys!

Carroll: So, what is up with your hate group "Badly Behaving Authors?"

The Bullies: You can't be a gang without a hideout. We needed a place to where we could all meet and plan our attacks against unsuspecting authors. You really are a dumbf@#% aren't you?

Carroll: Maybe, but how dumb does one have to be to not understand that 18 is not underage? You bullies constantly cry about the fact that I chase after them, yet the only one you people seem to talk about me chasing after is Jude when in fact, she and I were just friends the last couple of months leading up to her 18th birthday and only after her 18th birthday did anything ever develop beyond friends. Last time I checked, 18 was not underage. I even read once on Amanda's blog GenXpose that now they are saying I met her when she was 15. How can you even explain, much less defend this sort of libel against me? It is false and an outright lie. Everyone of you bullies know this is a lie. Amanda knows it, even Jude knows it. Now ... defend this if you can.

The Bullies: We can't defend this. You're right. We just made it up. But we wouldn't be bullies if we didn't lie. Haven't you been keeping up with all of our answers? Again, it's not about our right to rate and review books. It's about destroying reputations and careers. It's about our only means of power. The internet provides us with this kind of power. We know 18 is not underage, but we don't care. It's just fun to spread lies about you Carroll because we want to ruin you. That's it. That's all there is to it.

Carroll: If I am so irrelevant, then why do you bullies keep hashing about me? Why create two hate blogs in my honor? Three if you count Amanda's blog, GenXpose. Okay, we'll just give half credit for that one.

The Bullies: That's a good question. We wish we had an answer for that. Unfortunately we don't so we're just gonna stick with the "You're irrelevant Carroll!" response.   

Carroll: Seriously though, one final question; Are you bullies going to copy this mock interview and do one of your own with me? I mean, some of you bullies do engage in that sort of behavior. I understand that your creativity is somewhat lacking but, honestly, do you plan to continue to steal my ideas? Just asking. Not to worry, I won't mention any names as to who is more famous for stealing my ideas *coughamandacough*

The Bullies: F@#% you Carroll! You're 344 years old!


Well, that's about all for now. I hope you guys enjoyed this mock interview with the bullies. I seriously believe that if I were to hold a real interview with one of the bullies, it would go pretty much like this one. But if any of the bullies really want to address any of these issues in a real interview, I am game for it. Just let me know. Meanwhile, enjoy this song by Tears For Fears called "Break It Down Again".

The Bullies: F@#% you Carroll.


  1. This is just showing that you are no better than them. Why lower yourself to their level and resort to this? I thought you had a "SUPERIOR ATTITUDE. SUPERIOR STATE OF MIND."

    Apparently I was mistaken.

    1. I apologize for being human.

      Perhaps if I knew who you are your comment would have a deeper effect. Or impact.

  2. I'm not sure if anyone has picked up the message I am sending with this post.

    It is to demonstrate how ridiculous this whole thing is.

  3. To get that message one needs to listen to the lyrics of the song I posted at the end.


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