Sunday, December 15, 2013

What It's Like To Be Stalked

It's hard to describe the feeling of what it's like to be stalked. I think mostly, it's a feeling of confusion. You ask yourself that age old question, why? Why me? Yet, no answer is ever found. Such is the case with me. I constantly ask, "Why do the bullies stalk me?" and, "What is their objective?"

While I already have a good understanding as to why I get stalked, even beyond that, I still ask why? For example, I know why GenX of Genxpose hate blog stalks me, it's because she hates me. But why she hates me is a mystery within itself. I never did anything against her.

Of course, part of being a hate blog or a bully who runs a hate blog means that you have to lie. This is a Genxpose trademark. While I will touch base on that shortly, for now, I want to focus on the stalking aspects that I have to endure.

A while back, when I first joined Twitter, I tried out that "Klout" program they have. I didn't exactly care for it much, but while this is true, I still haven't deleted it. About one every couple months or so, Klout sends me an update in my email. For shits and giggles, I sign in and take a look. Usually, it tells me when people have responded to my tweets and or retweeted something I tweeted. No big deal.

Today, December 15th, 2013, I got another Klout update email. I clicked on it and signed in and this is when I saw it, that Gen X Media, or GenXFiles, (cue laughter) retweeted one of my tweets.

And what tweet did GenX retweet? Well, it was a tweet of mine showcasing one of poems on my "Carroll Bryant Collection" blog.

It's a poem I wrote when I was 19 years old called, "The Dream"

I posted this poem on November 7th, 2013. I'm just now finding out that she retweeted it. But why? I mean, we all know she hates me so why does she bother retweeting one of my tweets? More than that, why does she retweet from my poetry blog? Even more curious, why this poem? 

As I mentioned, I wrote it when I was 19 years old. I was in Norfolk at the time, in the Navy when I started getting this repeat dream of a room, half dark and half lit. I was always standing on the side of the light and on the side of the darkness, I could see a shadow and a pair of red eyes looking back at me. The shadow, or eyes, came with a dark voice. The voice was telling me that I was his son, that he was my father. 

I had this dream about five times during my time in Norfolk. I didn't include this tidbit in my "Norfolk" story on my other blog because I didn't think it was relevant to the story, which was about my relationship with my first fiancee'. 

However, about a year and a half after I left the military, my older sister told me about my real father. Up to that time, I thought my mothers first husband was my father. Turns out, the last name on my birth certificate wasn't real. That man was not my father. My real father was a motorcycle cop who died, a few months before I was born, in the line of duty during a chase on a wet road one night. 

During the time of this dream, I always thought it was something religious, like maybe it was Lucifer telling me that my soul belonged to him or something. (Or maybe even I was his spawn) O_O 

I know, "Damian" was running through my mind too. LOL 

My friend Hrisko, he didn't think it was related to religion. This coming from a somewhat very religious man. Turns out he was right. Now, in hindsight of course, I relaize it was my real father reaching out to me to tell me who he was and who I am. I am his son. Not the son of the man I shared my last name with. 

But again, I digress. Why is she stalking me? Why stalk that blog? It's just my poetry blog. My writing blog. And why that particular poem did she retweet? 

The world may never know. Genxpose may not even know. When I discovered this, I went to her Twitter account and looked at her tweets. The girl lives on the internet. She tweets more in a week than I do in a year. 

To ask why is an exercise in futility. The same exercise when you ask why she lies about me. Lies like, 1) Carroll is a pedophile and she fails to show any police record or screenshot to back it up. She doesn't even provide a screenshot of me interacting with an underage girl inappropriately. Hell, she doesn't even provide a screenshot of me interacting with an adult girl inappropriately. Her friend Jude can't even supply her with any emails to show that I ever acted inappropriately with her. How frustrating must that be for GenX?

2) She says I stalk, bully, and harass others yet again, she never shows any screenshot of me doing this. Unlike what I just showed you in this post, a screenshot of her retweeting one of my tweets of a poem from my writers blog. We all know she doesn't like me, so why does she go to my Twitter account and read my tweets? Why stalk me like that? What's the point?

3) She says I doc drop, yet she never shows a screenshot of that either. Nobody can find anywhere on this blog or any of my blogs where I doc dropped anyone. So why does she lie and say that I do? Better yet, why doesn't she just show a screenshot of me doxxing people?

4) She even tried to say that I knew Jude when she was 15 yet in one of my "GenX Says" series post, i showed everyone how impossible that was. Jude wasn't even a member of Goodreads until she was 16. But why lie like that? Why hate so much to the point where she will lie to try and make some useless or meaningless point? 

5) She says I called her a monkey when in fact the evidence I provided recently clearly shows I never called her no such thing, except for the fact that I refer to all the bullies as monkey's. But I didn't directly call her a monkey.

6) She says I knew she was a black woman all this time yet she never shows a screenshot that would support this. Everyone knows I think she is Amanda Welling. Last time I checked, Amanda Welling is white. 

7) She says I stalk her when in fact I have showed an email where she wrote me first, out of the blue, for no good reason. She also wrote about me first on her hate blog, and commented about me first too. This has already been long proven. So why does she lie like that? 

I could go on with all of her lies, but there is only so much time in one day. 

So I guess the only answer I could give to what it's like to be stalked is, it's confusing. So many questions, and absolutely no answers in sight. Let's just hope it stops in 2014. I doubt though that it will because of my upcoming book, "Goodreads: Or pedophilia?" I'm pretty sure once that book gets published, the stalking, harassment, and bullying will continue. 

And that's confusing. 

I'm Carroll Bryant .... and this The Looking Glass.


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