Sunday, August 4, 2013

Carroll Bryant's Advice to Goodreads Bullies

Bully Nation has been weeping again about the drama on Goodreads. They continue to lay blame on authors that they deem "badly behaving", and or their followers. Anyhow, they can't see that the height of all the drama surrounds them and their actions. They can't seem to see the forest because of the trees. They can't grasp the concept that what they are doing publicly to "deal" with their problems could be handled privately and thus, avoid all the drama.

To begin with, there is no need for them to attack publicly and in such large groups. There is no need to start up multiple hate groups specifically targeting a certain group of people. These actions are their decisions and this causes all the drama they are complaining about. You don't see authors and their supporters invading their spaces and attacking them. It's the other way around. All the evidence presented here and on STGRB confirms this.

To my understanding, STGRB started up to record these attacks that were taking place on Amazon Forum Boards and Goodreads. To show the world what these bullies were doing to unsuspecting people. (mainly authors at that time, but has since escalated to these bullies attacking other readers and reviewers.) And this leads me to another quick point; That these bullies call themselves readers when in fact, probably 90 percent of the authors they attack, they never read that authors books. You have to read to actually be a reader.)

Now these bullies say their fight is all about their right to review books as they see fit. The first rule to having that right is to actually read the book, which again, many of these bullies fail to do. However, in my attack back in July of 2012, it had nothing to do about reviews because I never complained about any. It was about my relationship with an 18 year old girl, disguised as a protest against my blog post on my own personal blog space.

Just as the bullies cry about their space being the "book review" they create, blogs are the personal space of a writer for them to speak out for their beliefs. If these bullies do not want their so called rights violated then why are they infringing on authors rights to exercise their freedom of speech by forming into a group and attacking them publicly for it? And make no mistake, when these bullies attack others in other people's personal space and as a group, that is the true birth of the drama.

But these bullies don't understand this.

So my attack was personal and when I defended myself, they attacked me even more and began spreading lies and rumors all over the place. Not just on Goodreads, but they took to Facebook, Twitter, their blogs, you name it. They are the ones who sent my attack viral. Newsflash! That's creating drama, not being dragged into drama. I was the one dragged into the drama. The drama these bullies created. And it's the same drama they continue to create with other authors and now, with other readers / reviewers.

Also, by demanding your opinions be respected while not respecting the opinions of others, is yourself creating more drama. 

When you anoint yourself judge, jury and executioner, you pretty much anoint yourself as a drama llama. There are rules that you, the bullies, can follow that would eliminate the drama that you yourselves start and complain about. I am here today to educate you on what you bullies can do to eliminate the drama that you start to begin with. I hope you pay close attention to this. I can teach you, but I can't make you learn. That is something you either have within yourself, or you don't. If you bullies read this with your hate goggles on, then you won't learn a thing. 

#1) SPAMMING. 

A lot of new authors when they first come onto Goodreads, are just so excited to finally have their first book published that they tend to go a little overboard with their happiness. In this excitement, they probably, without meaning to, spam. Since this seems to be a key issue for the bullies, maybe if the bullies showed a little compassion and understanding, instead of rounding up the troops to publicly attack and humiliate said new author, and try to destroy their self esteem, confidence, and new found career, perhaps they could privately respond to the author through private messaging and let the author know that they are spamming and that spamming is not allowed. If the author stops, then problem solved. Nobody got hurt, and maybe in the process, you bullies would make a new friend. No drama! 

See how easy that is? And if by chance the author doesn't get it, then guess what? You still don't need to cause your drama. All you have to do is quietly report it to your GR staff friends, and let them handle it, and you can move on to bigger and better things. Problem solved. No drama. 

But by you taking matters into your own hands, and rounding up your gang of cyber thugs, then going after said author publicly by invading said authors personal space and attacking, you create the drama in which you claim you don't like. Are you getting the picture here? I'm pretty sure everyone else is.

My point being: If an author spams you, all you need to do is politely explain to them via private message, that it is wrong and report it to GR. There’s no need to attack them publicly. Problem solved. No drama. Understand?

#2) FAKE RATINGS AND REVIEWS.

This one is simple. If you haven't read a book, don't rate and review it. How can you know if you like a book or not if you haven't even opened it up? If you cut out this deceptive practice, then another problem that you created would be solved. No drama. How easy is that? But if you do rate and review a book you haven't even read, you open the door for the person who wrote it to respond to your lie and deception. After all, before being an author, they first and foremost are human beings just like you. And because of that, they have the same type of flaws too. Just like you. And simply put, it is wrong and deceptive to tell people a book sucks when in fact you didn't even read it. Kind of like when I posted that model picture, yes? You see, you bullies jumped all over my ass for that, even after I explained it and apologized for it, and owned up to it, but you bullies refused to accept it and move on. Well, authors are human beings too, and when they see you being deceptive like you saw me, they will probably respond, and guess what? They would have every right to if they did. Just like you had every right to respond to my deception. So, to retaliate against the author for doing what you would do, and have done, is hypocritical and shows a lack of decency in your personality. You created the drama. So if you stop this practice of rating and reviewing books you never even read, you would cut out that drama. Understand?

#3) BOOK REVIEWS

A big argument with the bullies is that a book review is "their" space to air personal grievances. Well, it isn't. It's a space for book reviews. This means, when you do read a book (if you read the book) you get to talk about what you read. It is not the proper forum to call the author a rapist, a racist, a pedophile, or even say that the authors sucks or is stupid for writing the book. It's a book review, not an author review. I suggest you learn the difference. If you learn this and practice this, then guess what? You will eliminate much of the drama that you cause. You can however, go running to your book group and comment how you hate the author and stuff, but remember, when you libel them, even in a group discussion, you subject yourself not only to a civil suit by the author, but encourage a confrontation as well. Let's face it, if someone libeled you like that, author or not, you would rush to defend yourself, correct? So, just because a person is an author, don;t always go around expecting them to take some kind of high road because of it. Like I said earlier, first and foremost, we are all human beings before we are anything else. And you could just as easily take the high road as well. So if you eliminate the libeling and lies, and attacking authors on a personal basis, then you will have successfully solved a problem and, eliminated any unnecessary drama. Understand?

#4) PERSONAL FEELINGS

If for whatever reason you don't care for an author on a personal level, perhaps you disagree with their political standing, or religious beliefs, or whatever is the case, that's fine. But understand that authors are allowed to reveal personal things about themselves too just like you. In fact, many fans of said author may want to know these things. And if you want to state your mind on that subject, fine, but book reviews is not the appropriate place to do so. And all you need to say is, "The author is a democrat and I am a republican so I don't care for him or her." What you don't need to say is, "The author is an "effing" democrat bitch (or asshole) ......."

See the difference?

If you expect to be respected and given your deserved human dignity, you might want to practice the same in return. Despite your personal feelings about an author, if you keep it respectful or even just simply to yourself, then you will once again have eliminated any potential drama. 

See how easy this is? It's really not that difficult to avoid drama.


#5) STALKING, HARASSMENT

If said author does end up being a freak, and stalks you, harass you, etc, all you have to do is click "ignore" and .... report it to the GR staff. That simple. You can block anyone on Goodreads. You can also block them from any of your groups. But in essence, dealing with these kinds of people is the job of the GR staff, not yours. Sometimes, what you may consider to be stalking or harassing really isn't. You're human too and could over exaggerate from time to time. Just report it to the staff rather than gathering up your gang of thug bullies and attacking them. That is equivalent to somebody stalking or harassing you in real life and instead of going to the police, or along with going to the police, you round up a mob and go after the person.  That is actually against the law to do. This is why we have law enforcement. Let them do their job. The same can be said for Goodreads staff. Let them do their job. It's not your job to publicly humiliate someone just because you think they are doing something wrong. Let the proper authorities decide this and respond accordingly. By taking matters into your own hands, you create the drama in which you claim you don't like. Stop anointing yourself judge, jury and executioner and you'll see all of this drama end. Seriously, I wouldn't steer you wrong. 

And if you feel compelled to take your issue to your personal blog, be respectful in what you say and how you say it. Because again, what you may constitute in your opinion as stalking or harassing, may not be what the law constitutes it to be. It could just be something as simple as a little misunderstanding. And while it is your personal space, it is still viewed publicly. Just because you say, "In my opinion, so and so is a child molester ...." does not free you from a civil suit. It is still libelous and wrong. And it does not help in the fight against drama but rather, opens the door for it. Understand?


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I hope this helps to shed some light for you bullies to understand that while you're pointing the finger at others for starting drama, you may want to look into the looking glass and reevaluate what you are doing and saying. While there may be some wrongs coming from both sides, it still comes down to the fact that you are causing a lot of this drama yourself by taking matters into your own hands instead of just utilizing the tools at your disposal to help solve many of these problems, and by not using the proper channels and people who are being paid to resolve these matters in a more civilized manner. Going public with your attacks to solve your problems is not solving the problem, but more so, escalating the drama that you publicly declare that you don't like. And always remember, while you have your right to express yourself, so do the people you attack have their right to express themselves. Even if you don't think so just because they are authors. As I already mentioned, we are all first and foremost human beings first. Think about it. 



I'm Carroll Bryant ...  and this is The Looking Glass.


Things We Learned Today:


* The bullies could eliminate a lot of the drama from their end if they follow Carroll's advice

* Underneath all the labels and job titles, we're all still human beings first

* Everyone has rights, even authors

* The looking glass applies to us all


7 comments:

  1. What about these cry baby authors complaining about reviews? This is so wrong.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Doesn't GR have an updated ToS addressing this issue? Just flag it and let the GR staff handle it. Problem solved. No drama.

      See how easy that was?

      Delete
  2. There you go making comments to yourself again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There you go stirring up drama again.

      And on my own personal space to boot.

      Now if you'll excuse me, I got some much needed editing done on future posts, and I am going to watch some football now.

      Football! LOL

      Delete
  3. "The same can be said for Goodreads staff. Let them do their job. It's not your job to publicly humiliate someone just because you think they are doing something wrong. Let the proper authorities decide this and respond accordingly."

    And therein lies the problem. Goodreads does not give a shit what happens on their website. They rarely enforce their TOS or do anything to resolve ongoing problems that have plagued the site since its unholy creation. They are understaffed and only care about our advertising dollars and gaining more members. They, like this and many other blogs, are competing for clicks, views, and followers aka members. That is all they care about. The bullies and trolls run rampant on Goodreads because Goodreads allows it to happen, period.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, the GR staff has its own issues. Kara and Emily are the leaders of the bullies. I have a post coming up in September about them. And while I agree, part of the problem is that the staff sucks at their job, and part of the problem, my advice to the bullies is something that they can do to help kill the drama they claim they hate.

      The GR staff is another post altogether.

      The responsibility of the GR staff - one would think - would be to step in and tell the bullies to knock it off, and just report the problems to them and let them handle it. But they are not doing this. The staff is not "stepping up", and in fact have taken sides. This is their unprofessionalism showing. That is failure on their part and perhaps, a future post in the making.

      Delete
  4. Well done Carroll! Very informative and true article. :) I agree on the methods advised to end the drama. It is getting very ridiculous for all concerned.

    ReplyDelete